Being The Lord's Servant

Work willingly at whatever you do, as though you were working for the Lord rather than for people. Remember that the Lord will give you an inheritance as your reward, and that the Master you are serving is Christ.

Colossians 3:23-24 (New Living Translation)

Thursday, March 1, 2012

To My Dearest Crush

Dear FRIEND,

You may be surprised or puzzled on why you have received this letter from me, YOUR FRIEND. You may have figured out something by now. Yes, this is a ‘love letter’. Before you decide to throw it away, please give me a chance by continuing reading the rest of the letter’s content. This is not a prank or a joke. I am writing this for real. Here I go. FRIEND, I have deep feelings for you! No, that’s not it, FRIEND, I LOVE YOU!

Honestly, I have had a huge crush on you since last year. It happens when I first laid my eyes upon you. Your beauty caught my eyes instantly. I asked myself, “What is an angel doing here? She must have injured her wings on her body and fell to earth. The heavens then must have been frantically searching for her.”

At first, I thought you were just another pretty girl and there is nothing more to that. However, after sometime, I found myself looking at you every day whenever I have any free moments. When I am thinking of something, out of nowhere your image consistently popped inside my mind. I thought something was very wrong with me so I asked my friends whether they have any idea on what is happening because this particular kind of incidence has not happened to me before and their reply was, “You are in love, lah!” I said to myself, “No way, lah!” However, the more I denied my feelings, the greater the feelings I have towards you.

I have been a band member for five years and have been travelling a lot and meeting with different people from different countries whenever I am at any competition venue. I have also interacted with many of them. Some of them look like supermodels. These people are from Thailand, Taiwan and Canada yet the most time I spent thinking about their faces were only at most two to three days. Then, pretty girls just became a normal phenomenon for me. At this moment as I am writing this letter, I am thinking about you.

If I was unable to see you, it makes me feeling down and when I happened to see you, I would feel very happy. When both of us had our two months year-end holiday, I have found myself to be missing something but it was not my friends or anything else. That ‘something’ is your smile. As the days go by and when it approaches the first day of school, I spoke to myself, “The first person whom I want to meet is you, FRIEND.” Although the first person I saw on the first day on school was our friend, I was still happy because the second person whom I saw was you, walking towards our class.

I know it may sound ‘cheeky’ but your smile is like a ‘sunshine sticker’ to me and you are the bright sun that shines brightly on me. Another value that I adore about you is your voice. I do not know how it may sound to the others but to me your voice is so cute. When you laugh, again I know it may sound ‘cheeky and tacky’ but your laughter is like music to my ears.

By the way, you are not just beautiful but you are smart too. What caught my attention was how hardworking you were. While your friends were talking and laughing away, I would find you hardworking doing your work be it Physics or Chemistry. I spoke to myself, “Wow! She is a hard worker. I wish I had such quality deep within me.”

While others may say that you are being arrogant, I could see in you that you are a girl reserving herself only for those whom she really trusts and knows. You do not simply show your true self unless you are among your circle of friends. These people are saying that you are being ignorant because they do not understand about you! They just simply judge a book by its cover without looking at a person from a different perspective.

The main reason for I am writing is that I cannot converse as proficiently using the English language as much as I can when I write. To be honest, I have always wanted to speak to you in person, face-to-face and express my feelings towards you.

However, I cannot because when I look into your eyes, I will turn speechless. I guess it is true when some say, “When you fall for somebody, you cannot speak to him or her face-to-face”. There are occasions when I spoke to you but for that simple conversation to come through, I had to summon all my courage and speak out just to talk to you. I know you might be thinking that I am telling a lie because it is impossible for a person who seems bold like me may be afraid of talking to somebody like you. Is it unbelievable? I know that I have portrayed myself to be loud and rough on the outside but there is a soft side in me which I rarely show to anybody for example writing this letter to you. This is my first time committing such an act.

Another reason for me to not interact or greet you in anyway is because I am afraid. I never wanted you to feel uncomfortable too. I do not want to ‘pester’ you like the d***f***s who always shout out your name for fun. It is very irritating whenever they do that. I just want you to be comfortable all the time inside our class and not worry or get disturbed by the remarks made about you. I want you to be in an environment where you feel safe. FRIEND, do you still remember when we used to go to the Physics Lab for our classes when we do not have a class room of our own? You used to sit in-front in the lab. Do you know what I wanted to do when I meet you every morning while you were opening your books and revising? I wanted to give you a warm hug. I wanted to kiss you on your cheeks before asking, “FRIEND, how are you?” All these I do are to show that I care about you. I believed that you will be surprised by now with what I just wrote but please know that these words etched on this letter are my true feelings for you.

I know that I am not as smart or bright as our friend. I also know that I do not have the looks that you want. Truthfully, I think I look like a criminal who has just escaped from prison. Both my friend and I think that I look like a criminal. I know very well that I am not as well-off as you as I come from a fairly middle-class family and I know that I would not be able to buy you gifts which cost thousands. But know for sure that, I will love you unconditionally as long as you want me to. I have never fallen in love towards anybody before. The thought of falling in love never crossed my mind. For me, it is just a phase of life that one chooses to go through. I am now taking the ‘chances of life’. I am thankful for all the ‘mistakes’ that I have done in my 18 years of life to bring me to Form 6 and to meet you. I do not want to live the rest of my life regretting for the choices that I have not made and asking myself, “What if …?” FRIEND, I love you.

You have the rights to do anything with this letter. You can throw it away, burn it or keep it. It is all up to you. I am not a forceful guy. I know for real that I cannot force a girl to fall in love with me. Whoever you choose, it is your choice. If you need more time, I am willing to wait for you. Even if you reject me, you have nothing to lose, right? I know I will be sad if you reject me but I will see things from a different perspective. For you, at least you have a story to share with your children – “… when mummy was in Form 6, mummy received a love letter from mummy’s classmate on the eve of Valentine’s Day’s …” I only seek a simple answer from you. Yes or no. I promise to act better towards you even if you reject me because at the end of the day, we are still classmates, right? So, smile because your smile is beautiful. I know it is an early one, “Happy Valentine’s Day!”